mind control

healing happens -- finally, after waiting over two years to find any humor at all in post-trauma, suddenly one day i was walking home from work in oakland at sunset and this memory became the most hilarious, balls out funny thing ever:::

Noise Show @ Amnesia 2+ years ago in which i showed up with a psychotic homophobic man child during the first (and only) week we were happy together.  weirdly i watched as many of my male friends gathered around and began personifying apes.  For over 2 years i've been in yer face, single as fuck, but you want nothing to do with me - even going as far as Actively Ignoring me. BUT NOW, the second i appear to be "with" some dude, you suddenly start making interested motions.

it makes me wonder if there was any actual interest in me as a human being, or if i am only considered the female pawn in some grand pissing contest a bunch of men are all having with each other.  uch. i was LIVID>>but that's not the funny part.

unbeknownst to me, my "boyfriend" then went about hitting on every one of those guy friends of mine even though he's "not gay" and then proceeded to beat some crap outta me later that night because i'm "too much like a dude".....


making this album saved my life...