blinded by the blight.

so angry... 
booze and/or drugs don't even soften it up anymore. 
the lies, betrayal, the manipulation, the self-deprecation, etc.
all the wonderful things intimacy brings out in people.
even the few "good" memories just seem like a huge pathetic waste of time now.
oh well. 
i'll make the emotional hail come out in some manner of productiveness,
(as if i had a choice) 

in some volatile burst of creation. 

relationships continue to be the one thing i cannot master.
art and music are so much more fulfilling.
they might be equally disappointing though, when no one notices 
and you hear that voice in your head say,
"all that work for nothing." 
but it's better than being beaten to death by some dickhead 
for absolutely  
no reason.

it's the simple things that keep you in line with yourself.